(Al, Cassie, Jamie, Marcie, Matt and Dot)
There is a definite evolution to the relationship you have with your grandparents. For me, as a young child grandparents were these figures that floated in and out of your life, spoiled you, and were relative pushovers. As you grow, grandparents continue to spoil you, dote on you, but you only view grandparents through the lens of their relationship with you and your family. Eventually, you realize they are not simply "grandpa/Bapa" or "grammy/granma", but individuals with their own lives, experiences, and stories. And Al certainly had an abundance of stories.
We only have four grandparents. On my father's side I never knew my grandfather, while my paternal grandmother is one of the strongest people I will ever know. I feel that I have fewer strong memories of Roie than perhaps Katie, Peter, Ted & Sara, who are a few years older than me. I don't think I was old enough to appreciate her as an individual, although I have memories of her as a loving grandmother.
So it was both a relative surprise and a pleasure for me to see how my relationship with Al grew over the past decade. In high school I went out to lunch with Al, who told me he was investing a certain amount of money for me in the stock market, but I couldn't touch it until I was 35. We went through which stocks he was investing in and why, and the basics of how to play the market. But imagine my consternation - 35! - that's like 18 years (basically a lifetime!) away.
So, like most teenagers I mostly ignored the investments. However, Al had cracked my exterior, made me think a little, and gotten me somewhat interested in this investment thing. His story that day stuck with me. Al had each received a certain amount of money from their father. Although he was young, Al had invested this windfall for the long haul.
Fast forward 5 years or so. Thanks to Al I had a significant nest egg, and being mostly ignorant and self-consumed, at least I hadn't frittered it all away. I came out of college with a degree, and a beautiful woman that is the love of my life. Jamie and I met with Al - Jamie loved the way he welcomed her into the family, I was sorry I disappointed him -- "You should have sold it all in 2000" he told me!
But our relationship continued to grow, and I will always be indebted to all not only for the financial place he put me in - he helped put me through college, a bond he purchased supplemented my purchase of Jamie's engagement/wedding ring, and helped us purchase our house - but the important messages he shared. Work hard, play fair, think big, and love your family.
Jamie and I were able to see him just the weekend before he passed away. He told us how proud he was of us and as was often the case with Al, more important than his words were his actions. He asked Dot and my mom to take updated photos of me & Jamie and put them on his computer. And when some nurses came in to talk to him he told them he was fine and just wanted to see his grandson.
There was no great secret to life he told me. Just work hard, and stick with her, he pointed at Jamie. As we were leaving, he called me in again. His final words to me "Don't root for the Yankees!". One final promise I am sure I can live up to.
Sorry to go on so long, but I felt its important to share these remembrances. I have included a few photos from the Allen Family Olympics: Part Deux. Photo 1 - Al, Marcie & Dot. Photo 2 - Peter shows Al the prizes for the Allen Olympics - framed photos of Al you can find in this blog.
- Matt
Another view of Marcie's wedding with Al in the foreground.
1 comment:
What great comments Matt!
I think all the grandchildren can relate to his stock market discussions. Back in the early days though, he just set up prepaid notes that would mature some some down the road, usually around the time you'd go to off college. He was so thoughtful of his family and he had so much fun helping out and being involve with all your lives.
Keep on top of your investments!
Jeff
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