Family Remembrances from Sept. 12 service - Matt Lindsay

I'm Matt Lindsay, Marcie's son and one of Al's 11 grandchildren. (Al also had 3 great grandchildren).

In remembering Al today I'll be following some advice that Al himself dispensed to his oldest son Jeff in a birthday card in 1991. Jeff was in his fifties – that's 5-0-t-i-e-s in Albertese…

That advice? "Have fun, before things get tough"

Luckily, I think Al was able to follow his own advice, and have fun, even when things did get tough.

The remembrances that have been posted in recent days on the blog that Peter & Ted Allen created are a testament to all the fun that Al had. Although I must say that only on an Allen family blog would food, practical jokes, and baseball generate the most posts! But the fact that our most vivid memories of Al surround these subjects is to me a sign of a life well lived.

Al forged a unique relationship with each of his 11 grandchildren, a relationship as distinct as each of our personalities. And while we are all individuals, each us has inherited a different part of Al.

Now Al wouldn't want me to opine on which of his characteristics I see in each of my cousins.

He wouldn't want me to say that

-- Ted got his curiosity

-- Or that Molly got his sincerity

-- Or that Sara has his warmth

-- Or that Katie has his drive

-- He wouldn't want me to say that Peter got his intelligence

-- That Bo got his imagination

-- Or Cassie his passion

-- He wouldn't want me to say Ben has his charisma

-- Lauren his creativity

-- Reed his genuineness

-- Or that I evidently got some of his work ethic

No, Al wouldn't want me to say any of that.

Because as far as I can tell from the time I spent with Al, he didn't believe in sharing his opinions.

And if he did hold strong opinions, I'm just not sure he ever felt comfortable sharing them his family.

In seriousness, as I look back over Al's life and the impact he had on each of us, it is amazing how much he shared. I think Al felt, if you're not sharing, you're not caring, and I'm not sure he disdained anything more than ambivalence.

Whether he was sharing life lessons, his opinion on world politics, financial advice, reasons why the Cleveland Indians were really the only baseball team an Allen should root for, or the amazing richness of an Awful Awful, Al was telling you he cared.

And he cared about each of us as individuals – our interests, our goals, our passions – and tried to share what he thought would be relevant to each of us.

Not that he always got it right. In a remembrance my mother wrote "He introduced me to photography and printing, which I enjoyed for years, stock analysis which I'm still learning, he gave me binoculars, cameras, and some lucite sculptures I'm still not quite
sure of."

Isn't that great? We never know exactly what we share will stick – but we greatly improve our chances by casting a wide net.

And some things we share may not have an immediate impact. But Al was patient. (And he had to be with this group of grandchildren).

He realized if he could plant the seed it might not sprout until decades later, but eventually we would realize, oh, I see what Al was saying, and that's why I should care!

Many of you know in his later years Al challenged his grandchildren to respond to a series of questions in his "A Grandfather Asks." Al was not shy in sharing his opinions while asking a question, but he was genuinely interested in what our generation had to say.

And more importantly he challenged us to think about the world around us and our place in it. By encouraging us to share our thoughts he hoped to entice us to think and to care more about the state of our world.

Sharing and caring, that's what Al was about.

As evidence of that, let me read a few short quotes I pulled from remembrances of Al written by his grandchildren:

-- "Al was much more than just a 'grandfather,' he was a life coach, offering you all his years of wisdom and learning, and bending you subtly on to a better path."

-- "From my earliest memories to my last moments with Al, he was always encouraging me to grow as a human being, to take on new challenges and to contribute the happiness and welfare of others. Lots of people give such encouragement, but few live up to the same ideals with their own actions."

-- "I always remember how much Bapa loved his family and all of his grandchildren and how he took a special interest in all of our lives, relating to each one of us in his own way."

-- "I loved most of all the wisdom, of all those acquired years, in a mind that was smart from youth, but still so active and intelligent in old age."

It was that intellectual activity and curiosity that drove Al to care about a variety of issues. I came to appreciate that while he was opinionated, Al allowed his opinions to change over time. Be it political views, investment principles, or facial hair (he dabbled with a new look at 90, growing a moustache), Al was open to change and new ideas.

One constant was his willingness to share. The last time I saw Al his advice was that success isn't as much a secret as it is a reward for hard work.

If I am able to share half as much with my grandchildren as Al did with each of us, it will be a major success.

So what is it I will remember about Al? I will remember that he truly shared and he truly cared.

And there is not much more you can ask for in a grandfather.