It’s not that I haven’t had the time, or the thoughts. I haven’t had the words.
My relationship with Al was complicated. Writing those words, I have to laugh. Who had an uncomplicated relationship with Al? But the complications were ours. Discussions, repercussions, judgments, apologies, judgment, absolution, disillusionment, disregard, dissatisfaction, re-generation, respect, reconnection, realization, love, surprise, delight, and mutual respect --all of that was ours. That is where I will leave it. And Al will chuckle at the thought that you don’t know what we do.
It was May when Al met my Rosemary. We came to visit. Dot was lovely in pink linen. Rosemary and I got out of the car and she blinked twice at Dot (as she does, to signal affection), Dot embraced her and then Rosemary and I went to visit.
I was very concerned that bringing the baby would be unhealthy and said so to Al. He did not care. He wanted to see Rosemary. When we walked in she looked at him, and he at her. Al said, “her eyes are like Rose’s”. Al asked to hold her. And he did. For a long time. He gave her his finger and she grabbed it, held on and gazed at her long lost friend. They were so happy and at peace with each other. Rosemary’s eyes do not sparkle blue, but they sparkle just the same, with the life and lives that Al has given us.
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